Matrescence and Self Care
Matrescence can be defined as a woman’s passage into motherhood: the physical, psychological, and emotional changes a woman undergoes through pregnancy, labor, and postpartum.
This intense and transformative process causes a woman to grow her capacity to nurture and love far greater than she knew she could. It also demands so much physically and mentally to shift into this role, which is why it’s crucial for rhythms of self-care to be incorporated, protected, and held sacred in a mother’s life.
It can feel unrealistic or exhausting to think of incorporating self-care in this season of new rhythms and intense sleep deprivation while also readjusting to a brain and body that feel unfamiliar. Finding rhythms that are realistic and sustainable will help with consistency.
Some examples and personal anecdotes:
Once your baby is down for bed, napping, or with a person you trust, find 10 minutes to shower in a dimly lit room. Wash your hair slowly, breathe deeply, and take a moment to care for and connect with your physical body after caring for somebody else all day.
I made a goal to shower every night once I had my baby. No matter how tired I was, this was a rhythm I kept sacred, and it served my mental well-being so much in my postpartum season.
Go on a 10-minute walk outside with or without the baby. Take time to breathe deeply, walk slowly, and recenter.
The first time I went on a walk was early on in my healing process, but getting out of the house for just a few minutes, breathing in fresh air, and seeing other people made me feel connected to my brain and body in a way that I hadn’t felt in weeks.
Spend time with loved ones and lean into your community for help. Allow friends and family to serve you and care for your social, physical, and emotional needs. Find grace for yourself if your mind doesn’t feel as sharp or present as it once did in social interactions. Allow yourself space to show up imperfect, hormonal, sleep-deprived, covered in milk and sweat. You might not know immediately what is helpful and what isn’t. Do you need friends to drop meals off on the porch instead of coming in? Do you need a friend to hold the baby while you take a nap? It’s common to receive many offers for “free childcare.” This may feel like exactly what you need, or it may feel like more of a burden than a help. Check in with yourself regularly, and don’t feel guilty asking for help or setting boundaries when needed.
I found myself wanting to be with my baby as much as possible when I was freshly postpartum; it took a toll on my mental well-being to leave my baby with friends and family while I tried to rest. The people that came over and cleaned my home, made me meals, and sat to talk with me while I breastfed were the ones that served me in the ways I truly needed.
Find safe spaces to process your raw emotions and feelings. Whether that’s navigating body changes, mom guilt, or intrusive thoughts, finding people who can be sounding boards is crucial. This safe space may exist in your marriage, close friendships, or with family members, but it’s also a space that can to be created within therapy or support groups. Remember, your mental and emotional healing is just as important as your physical healing.
At SanaVita, we are excited to help care for you and walk with you in your healing journey. If you need further support in this season, reach out to us at contact@sanavitacounseling.com, and we can connect you with further resources.
