The Reality of Pet Grief

When we lose a beloved pet, be it a dog, a cat, or any other critter we took the time to nurture and love, we can often downplay our grief, shrug it off, or dismiss it. We belittle our pain sometimes in an effort to convince ourselves we’re grieving too much. It was “just a pet” after all. But pet grief is very real, and we shouldn’t suppress it due to what we feel is expected of us from others—or even from ourselves.

Acknowledge the Depth of Pet Loss

Since pets often provide unconditional love and companionship, losing a pet can feel as profound as losing a family member. This is especially true if that pet was with you twenty-four hours a day for several years. Pets become cherished friends in that time, and due to this deep bond and our familiarity with their presence, we can feel lost or untethered after their passing. When we allow ourselves to feel and experience pet grief, we’re giving ourselves a healthy way to honor their memory as well as acknowledging their place in our hearts. This grief can follow a similar pattern to human loss with the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

Encourage Yourself to Process Pet Grief

Everyone’s journey through grief is different and complex, but there are some ways to make room for your grief through processing your emotions. Creating a memorial is a lovely way to remember your pet, whether it be inside your home or outside in the garden. A shadow box full of their mementos, such as a collar, a photo, or a favorite toy, could also adorn your wall over the place where they loved to spend their time.

Journaling is another way to express your grief, as well as spending time with supportive friends. Pet loss support groups can help you find like-minded individuals in a community who empathize with your pain.

Don’t Rush or Ignore the Process

However you decide to process your grief, the key is to avoid bottling up your emotions or rushing to “move on.” Working through grief takes time and varies for everyone. Allow yourself the permission to grieve for as long as you need. Only you know how long that is. If you feel pressured to downplay your pet loss by friends or family, resist it and affirm that the bond you shared with your pet was unique and valid. 

Show Grace for Others’ Pet Loss

If one of your loved ones has lost a pet, lend them a shoulder to cry on and be there to help them through their pain. Be sure to offer empathy by listening to their stories and comforting them with kind words. Acknowledge how special the pet was to them and try to avoid telling them to “just get another one.” For the person who suffered this loss, their pet is irreplaceable. Sit with them in that heartache and help them work it out.

Embrace Healing with Compassion

We need to remember that healing doesn’t mean we forget our pet friends, it means we carry on in their memory while we rediscover joy. This might look like honoring your pet by creating a scrapbook or a photo wall, donating to an animal charity in their name, or even participating in fundraisers for animal-related causes in your pet’s memory. 

By supporting ourselves and others through pet grief, we offer a valuable gift: recognizing the deep bond between humans and animals and providing a safe place to express grief meaningfully.